The winner in the Seattle Times contest for best LOTR/RotK haiku was:
Gollum looks like my
brother who uses Rogaine.
Grow Precious hair. Grow.
and the runners-up were:
Ent seeks Entwife for
long walks in Fangorn Forest.
Tree huggers preferred.
— Peter Delaney,
Redmond
Bush vindicated!
Weapons of mass destruction
unearthed in Mordor!
— Bill Rockenbeck,
Redmond
Middle-earth is safe.
Heavy sigh. What to do now?
More Star Trek reruns...
— R. Harrill,
Seattle
Beautiful Legolas
makes our hearts throb.
Aragorn still needs a bath.
— Nicole Grohs,
Seattle
Alex, my son, waits,
frozen, frantic for the King.
Please let me go home.
— Del Shannon,
Boulder, Colo.
Aragorn is cute,
but why won't he wash his hair?
Women like clean men.
— Amanda Gluibizzi,
Boston, Mass.
According to trolls,
Goblin is tough — unlike orc,
the other white meat.
— Peter Delaney,
Redmond
"Dear Mr. Gandalf:
You're no David Copperfield."
— Claudia Schiffer
— Thaddeus Hanscom,
Seattle
Can a Brit enter
this haiku competition?
Or is it just Yanks?
— Dave Burgess,
Carlisle, UK
Osgiliath bound
Faramir drives the halflings
Book notwithstanding
— Jan Gray,
Bellevue
Tricksey hobbitses
Smeagol wants it back Precious
hates them wants them dead
— Rachael Robbins,
Los Angeles
Frodo, hear my cry
My heart lies in Middle-earth
Don't call me a dork
— Kathryn Spillman,
Palm Desert, Calif.
The Ring is destroyed
Epic trilogy complete
Precious movies all
— Andy Haldeman,
Seattle
Peter Jackson looks
Like a Hobbit who deserves
To Win an Oscar
— Kojay Pan,
Renton, WA
Frodo holds the ring
Mt. Doom alone can destroy.
But the ring resists.
— Dan Hagan,
Auburn
Film flows past, too swift
Why must it end? Like the elves?
Alas — final frame
— Eric Fredrickson,
Seattle
A small leader true
Brings fears to where they began
A ring is beckoned
— Whitney Jasinski,
Renton
An Oscar for 'King'?
The trophy will be taller
than the movie's star.
— Jason Gibbens,
Seattle
*****
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